Adventures Part 28: Fin!

September 12, 2010 at 8:16 am (diets, Dilators, Exercise, health, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Things to do before you're 30, Travel, Vaginismus)

I can’t believe this is going to be my last entry on this blog! Today is my last day in my 20s and technically I’m no longer a virgin, so this is it. As I write, Wonder Boy is running a half marathon, so I have some time to reflect and write this.

I’ve read quite a few articles about what I should have, have done, be able to do by the age of 30, but none of them jumped out at me. I had, had done, was able to do most of them by the age of 25. So, I’ve decided to make my own list!

1: Be independent of your parents – financially at least!

2: Have a close group of friends who you can trust with secrets, call at anytime of the day or night and who can see you first thing in the morning without being scared!

3: Have travelled outside of your home country – there is no excuse to not have left your homeland by this age, you have to be at least a little bit curious about the big bad world. And, if you think your country is the best in the world, you’re deluded…..no country is!

4: Have lived in another country.

5: Be able to communicate in another language or at least be  able (and willing) to communicate using signs, pictures and phrasebooks.

6: Try different types of food – if you decide you don’t like something after you’ve eaten it that’s fine, but don’t knock it til you try it! (Even if it is sheep’s brain and you know you won’t like it, you never know when you might have to eat it out of survival and it’s better to be prepared!)

7: Have had a really crap job – it builds character!

8: Have experienced love – I’m not saying you have to be married or in a relationship, or to ever have had one, but I think it’s important that you’ve fallen in love at some stage and it’s really great if someone loves you back!

9: Have been really drunk and done something silly (once is enough for this one, but most of us have more than one story to tell!) Apparently I have 10 fingers and I wanted everyone to know that!

10: Know where to go to get the perfect jeans, perfect black trousers, and shoes for you.

11: Have underwear that fits perfectly.

12: Be able to drive – I only learned when I was 25 and got my first car when I was 26, but it   was the best decision ever!

13: Have a fallback drink that you know every bar serves no matter where you are just in case someone offers to buy you one and you can’t see if the bar has your favourite beer/ wine/ juice. Every bar has soda and lime!

14: Know how to use a computer with confidence.

15: Don’t be afraid to talk to strangers.

16: Have a favourite possession that you can’t live without, but realise that people are more important than things!

17: Have a favourite movie/ song/ book or poem that can cheer you up if you’re feeling down/ get you ready for a night out/ calm you down or wake you up.

18: Be able to cook at least 7 different meals, so you don’t have to eat the same thing every day!

19: Be able to be a good hostess.

20: Have life goals – they don’t have to have deadlines, but a rough idea is good!

These are the things that I think are important to have, be able to do have done and have realised by the time you’re 30.

Now, as far as my list of resolutions goes, I suppose I’d better review them and see if I’ve had a productive year or not!

1: Save some money.

Tick! Money in a savings account, mortgage re-negotiated and a kitty for the holidays!

2: See new places

Tick! Barcelona and Morocco!

3: Find a new job

No. I’m doing new things at work, but it’s still the same place.

4: Get fit and healthy

Tick, but I need to keep it up obviously! There’s no point getting fit and healthy for one day!

5: Have sex!

TICK!!!!!! The biggest surprise of all! It’s not perfect yet by any means, but I can definitely say I am not a virgin!

6: Go back to Italy

No, but I WILL do it next year.

7: Make travel plans

We’ve discussed and thought about this a lot too. We think we might have a kinda plan, but we’re waiting for confirmation. So, this one is half ticked off!!!

8: Get a tattoo

No. I want to make sure the vaginismus is gone for good before I get it.

9: Wear a designer dress on my birthday

Tick! Thanks to my Mum I’ll be wearing a lovely DKNY dress for my party!

And I added a tenth of going camping at a music festival, which was also ticked off. So, 6.5 out of 10. Not too bad I guess!

And finally, I’d like to thank you all for reading. My blog has come to an end, but I’ll be keeping up with everyone else’s.    🙂     🙂     🙂     🙂

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Part 21: It’s the Final Countdown…..(na na na na, na na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na na na…….!!!)

July 19, 2010 at 8:01 pm (baby steps, cholesterol, diets, Dilators, Exercise, health, jogging, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, running, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

Only 8 weeks to go to my birthday! Yikes! I can’t believe it. The year has gone so fast. It only feels like a couple of weeks since I started this blog to keep a record of things.

So anyway, here are some updates:

Go to Italy: Last time I updated I thought I’d be going, but it looks as if I’m not going to be able to make it to my friend’s wedding in September. Some things have come up and I’m going to have a party on that day instead. Also, one of my other friends there is pregnant and due at the end of December, so I’ll probably take a trip next year anyway!

Get fit and healthy: I just had another informative chat with my doctor today (well, actually this time it was!) and I found out I’m a bit anaemic, which explains a lot. On the major plus side, I’ve managed to lower my cholesterol level by 1.2!!!!! He was really surprised! My running programme is also going well. I surprised myself today by being able to run for 6 minutes. Wonder Boy has pointed out that soon I’m going to have to get a bigger loop to run. The aim is to be able to run for 30 minutes by my birthday.

Have sex: I had my 1st pain-free experience with the 2nd dilator yesterday. I was so happy! I’m also still using the 3rd one as well, but I haven’t gone any further than half-way with it. I did psyche myself up to make an appointment with the gyn though and it’s in 5 weeks time.

And….I’ve decided to retrospectively add another resolution. I just knew 9 was too odd a number to have! So, Resolution Number 10: go camping at a music festival! I’ve never been camping and we bought out tent on Saturday, probably one of the wettest days of the year so far. The festival is in 2 weeks time and I just hope it stays dry.   🙂

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Part 18: I Need A Vuvuzela!!!

June 30, 2010 at 6:56 pm (cholesterol, diets, Dilators, doctor's visits, Exercise, health, relationships, sexual dysfunction, Vaginismus)

Anyone watching the World Cup in South Africa will be familiar with the vuvuzela. It’s a plastic blowing horn which makes a loud noise. It’s typically used at South African football matches and some say it’s ruining their enjoyment of the matches on TV. Personally, I don’t even notice them and, if anything, I think they add atmosphere. I’m alone in thinking this in my family. I’ve just discovered a shop in town selling them and I’m seriously considering buying one to vent my anger.

I had the most useless doctor’s visit ever on Monday. I went to him to talk about my cholesterol and weight gain. I wanted him to review my last test results to see if he could think of anything to link all my symptoms together. He didn’t really feel like talking about that, but wanted to give me lots of advice on vaginismus. Some might think that great, but the advice was as follows:

Have you ever thought about having a few drinks to relax because, you know, if you could just have intercourse once, you’d be fine.

You need to have that snipped.

You need to get that sorted because your boyfriend must be very frustrated.

Take a Valium an hour before going to bed and see what happens.

And my personal favourite piece of advice was:

Be careful not to get pregnant!

So, I left the doctor’s office with a prescription for diazepam and a form for a blood test.  🙂

I cried a lot out of frustration and anger on Monday night and that’s why I thought a vuvuzela would be a great idea. I think there would be something very satisfying about making a tiny noise sound huge! I had the blood test today and in the interest of experimentation I will try a Valium at the weekend………just to see what happens!!!   😀

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Part 17: A Little Blip!

June 26, 2010 at 1:06 pm (Dilators, Exercise, health, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Travel, Vaginismus) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Was there a Sunday in last week??? I’m really not sure! I know there was a Saturday cos I did a lot! I went for a long walk, I did some housework, I sunbathed in the garden and then I went out. An ex-colleague was home for the weekend and we were celebrating her 30th. There was drinking, dancing and……… tequila  🙂   Then Wonder Boy came to rescue me, there was junk food and the next thing it was Sunday evening and I was eating pizza wrapped up in a blanket on the couch! It was a good night, but it’s the reason why I was the designated driver last night when we went to a concert!

So, I missed a day from my schedule – no worries! I had 3 positives with my resolutions this week.

Get fit and toned: To prepare for my total tone class I did exercise on Monday too, so my muscles wouldn’t suffer as much as last week. It worked – only a few aches on Wednesday, but I was able to run up and down the stairs! The weather continues to be nice, so I got a swim in the sea in too, which always helps stretch out muscles.

Visit Italy: Yes!!!!!!!! This one might actually happen!!! It won’t be before my birthday, but a friend of mine there is getting married 5 days after my birthday. That’s close enough, right???? I’m in two minds whether to go or not for a couple of reasons: it’s difficult to get to the location of the ceremony, I’d have to go on my own cos Wonder Boy can’t take any holidays at that time, I don’t know anybody going to the wedding besides the bride and her sister and my Italian is very rusty now seeing as it’s been 6 years since I was last there. Obviously it’d be fantastic to see her again and meet her now fiancé! And it would be a new part of Italy for me to visit. I think I might make the trip my birthday present to me  🙂

Have sex: I realise I need more help. I can go on forever on the 2nd dilator or do something about it. I’m going back to my doctor on Monday to see what the next step is. I also joined an online support group on Facebook moderated by the authors of the book we read, (the book that gave me the ass kicking I needed to do this), Private Pain: It’s About Life, Not Just Sex by Dr Ditza Katz and Dr Ross Lynn Tabisel. They run a therapy centre in NY www.womentc.com and have given me some very helpful information this week. Thanks!!!!

So, all in all, it’s been a good week. We’re making some travel plans YAY!!! But they’re still at the baby stages, so I’m saying nothing for the moment!

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Adventures Part 14: Black Cats Crossing Your Path……That’s Good Luck, Right???

June 2, 2010 at 7:19 pm (Changing jobs, cholesterol, diets, Dilators, EFL, Exercise, health, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, Summer, Teaching, TEFL, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

I see it’s been 3 months since I last gave updates on all my resolutions. There hasn’t really been a lot of progress on them, but seeing as it’s a little over 12 weeks to the big day, I need to kick myself into action on some points! So, this review is for my benefit!  😉

So here we go……..

1: Save some money.

Nothing major on this one – 100 here and there, but that’s it. We’ve a mortgage review in August though, so that should see the savings start!

 2: See new places

It’s been done. 🙂

3: Find a new job

Well….I have to do new things at work for the summer, so it’s kind of a new job within my job! I’ll be training high school teachers from all over Europe as well as training people to be TEFL teachers. I’ve done that bit before, but I’m going to be inspected on it by the Dept. of Ed. This time, which means a lot more work (a.k.a. stress!) Thankfully, it also means a little more money. That links in nicely to resolution number 1 too, so I have to be happy with that! I’ve also been looking into volunteering in September and I have a plan to get started on something more creative too involving writing and photography. Watch this space!

4: Get fit and healthy

According to the scales I’m down 7lbs. I don’t see it myself, but the scales don’t lie, right?!?!!? Wonder Boy’s marathon is in 5 days and that combined with the sunny weather has made me get more active in the evenings. I need a little extra though, so I’m going to check out some classes between now and September.

5: Have sex!

I’m still using the 2nd dilator, but I think I’m going to have to go back to the doctor for help with them. She only works on Mondays though, so getting an appointment before September might be difficult. I’ll have to think of a new title for the blog. How does Adventures of a 30 year old Virgin sound?!?!?!?!

6: Go back to Italy

Probably not going to happen, but it can happen next year!

7: Make travel plans

We’re going to have to wait until September to have more information about this. It’s cutting it close, but it might be ticked off in time!

8: Get a tattoo

This will probably be next year too.

9: Wear a designer dress on my birthday

This one speaks for itself and obviously won’t be ticked off for another 3 months!

That’s how it stands at the moment. As I was out walking today a black cat crossed my path, so I’m taking it as a sign of good luck that things will work out well!  🙂

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Adventures Part 13: Summer??!!???

May 22, 2010 at 8:58 am (Dilators, Exercise, growing vegetables and herbs, health, Humor, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus, Vegetables) (, , , , , , , , , , )

I’m afraid to write it in case it disappears again, but I think it might be summer 🙂   I’ve spent the morning in the garden for the first time this year. I had breakfast outside, the washing drying in the sun and I had to water the vegetables, which are growing like mad! We’ll soon have our own veggies for dinner!!! Yummy! They’re playing summer songs on the radio and I’m planning a looonnnggg walk for later on. Wonder Boy is off running in preparation for the marathon, which is coming up in a couple of weeks. I’ll have to get my pom-poms ready to cheer him over the finish line!

What’s all this positivity you might ask???? Aren’t I usually quite depressing????? The answer might be yes, but this week things are good. My star chart seems to be working. Ticking things off one-by-one and knowing that I’ll have a reward at the end seems to be working. I haven’t noticed any improvement with the dilators, but I have used them everyday for the last 9 days (I’m back to the 2nd one again). I’m just focusing on using it everyday and then, hopefully, one day it’ll be easy.

And the treat I’m looking forward to today??? Well, Wonder Boy’s nephews are coming to stay tonight and we’re going to get pizza and watch football! They might even persuade me to go zip-wiring in the park tomorrow if it’s still sunny. They find it very funny to watch me cling on for dear life while they push me across!

So, I’m ending this entry feeling positive  🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 

Oh, and if anyone has any advice on how to recover coriander or how to grow pepper plants, your comments are very welcome!

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