Adventures Part 28: Fin!

September 12, 2010 at 8:16 am (diets, Dilators, Exercise, health, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Things to do before you're 30, Travel, Vaginismus)

I can’t believe this is going to be my last entry on this blog! Today is my last day in my 20s and technically I’m no longer a virgin, so this is it. As I write, Wonder Boy is running a half marathon, so I have some time to reflect and write this.

I’ve read quite a few articles about what I should have, have done, be able to do by the age of 30, but none of them jumped out at me. I had, had done, was able to do most of them by the age of 25. So, I’ve decided to make my own list!

1: Be independent of your parents – financially at least!

2: Have a close group of friends who you can trust with secrets, call at anytime of the day or night and who can see you first thing in the morning without being scared!

3: Have travelled outside of your home country – there is no excuse to not have left your homeland by this age, you have to be at least a little bit curious about the big bad world. And, if you think your country is the best in the world, you’re deluded…..no country is!

4: Have lived in another country.

5: Be able to communicate in another language or at least be  able (and willing) to communicate using signs, pictures and phrasebooks.

6: Try different types of food – if you decide you don’t like something after you’ve eaten it that’s fine, but don’t knock it til you try it! (Even if it is sheep’s brain and you know you won’t like it, you never know when you might have to eat it out of survival and it’s better to be prepared!)

7: Have had a really crap job – it builds character!

8: Have experienced love – I’m not saying you have to be married or in a relationship, or to ever have had one, but I think it’s important that you’ve fallen in love at some stage and it’s really great if someone loves you back!

9: Have been really drunk and done something silly (once is enough for this one, but most of us have more than one story to tell!) Apparently I have 10 fingers and I wanted everyone to know that!

10: Know where to go to get the perfect jeans, perfect black trousers, and shoes for you.

11: Have underwear that fits perfectly.

12: Be able to drive – I only learned when I was 25 and got my first car when I was 26, but it   was the best decision ever!

13: Have a fallback drink that you know every bar serves no matter where you are just in case someone offers to buy you one and you can’t see if the bar has your favourite beer/ wine/ juice. Every bar has soda and lime!

14: Know how to use a computer with confidence.

15: Don’t be afraid to talk to strangers.

16: Have a favourite possession that you can’t live without, but realise that people are more important than things!

17: Have a favourite movie/ song/ book or poem that can cheer you up if you’re feeling down/ get you ready for a night out/ calm you down or wake you up.

18: Be able to cook at least 7 different meals, so you don’t have to eat the same thing every day!

19: Be able to be a good hostess.

20: Have life goals – they don’t have to have deadlines, but a rough idea is good!

These are the things that I think are important to have, be able to do have done and have realised by the time you’re 30.

Now, as far as my list of resolutions goes, I suppose I’d better review them and see if I’ve had a productive year or not!

1: Save some money.

Tick! Money in a savings account, mortgage re-negotiated and a kitty for the holidays!

2: See new places

Tick! Barcelona and Morocco!

3: Find a new job

No. I’m doing new things at work, but it’s still the same place.

4: Get fit and healthy

Tick, but I need to keep it up obviously! There’s no point getting fit and healthy for one day!

5: Have sex!

TICK!!!!!! The biggest surprise of all! It’s not perfect yet by any means, but I can definitely say I am not a virgin!

6: Go back to Italy

No, but I WILL do it next year.

7: Make travel plans

We’ve discussed and thought about this a lot too. We think we might have a kinda plan, but we’re waiting for confirmation. So, this one is half ticked off!!!

8: Get a tattoo

No. I want to make sure the vaginismus is gone for good before I get it.

9: Wear a designer dress on my birthday

Tick! Thanks to my Mum I’ll be wearing a lovely DKNY dress for my party!

And I added a tenth of going camping at a music festival, which was also ticked off. So, 6.5 out of 10. Not too bad I guess!

And finally, I’d like to thank you all for reading. My blog has come to an end, but I’ll be keeping up with everyone else’s.    🙂     🙂     🙂     🙂

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Adventures Part 27: Untitled!

September 5, 2010 at 10:40 am (baby steps, Dilators, health, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

I’ve always been one to do things close to deadlines – I’m very organised, but seem to need the little push of time running out to get me to finish things! I always crammed for exams and finished assignments at midnight. So here I am 8 days before my birthday and I’m able to say that Wonder Boy and I had a massive breakthrough last night!     🙂

Since I last wrote I have no idea what has happened. I started a pilates class on Tuesday to learn how to control my breathing. When I used my dilators that evening, I used the breathing techniques we’d learned and the 3rd dilator went in quite easily. So, for the rest of the week I practised a lot and last night I finally decided to practise with Wonder Boy! I would like to point out that I was not drunk or on valium for this!!!!!!!!!!

All I can say is that it was 100% successful and that now the title of this blog is a little misleading!   😉   Now, I know that we’ve a long way to go and that it mightn’t happen every time we try, but when I think back to the very 1st time we tried (and he told me there was nothing there) and compare it to now, we’ve come a very long way!     😀

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Adventures Part 24: From Black Cats to Magpies

August 14, 2010 at 12:34 pm (Dilators, health, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

We have a magpie camping out in our garden! Now, I know that usually magpies travel in groups, in the very least pairs, but this one is quite happy hanging out on his own. I’ve been waving at him for days, but he’s still there, marching around the place, picking at the grass. I don’t know what he’s hoping to find, but I wish he’d just go away! I’m tired of looking for the 2nd one who’s usually around.

A couple of months ago, I wrote about the good luck sign of a black cat. Just when I was starting to think things might be going well, along comes Mr Magpie. I’m not really a superstitious person, but as it’s getting close to the deadline for my resolutions, I’m looking for signs.

All in all it’s looking good for next month. I’m really making a big effort on the vag and dilator front. I’ve even roped Wonder Boy into helping me with the exercises to try and help me get over my fear. It’s a little weird, but we’ll see.   🙂    I’m going to try some relaxation techniques and get as much help as I can from my gyn appointment in a couple of weeks.

Unfortunately, there’s been a casualty in my plan…..I’ve given up on running!!! I just really hate it. I always have and I always will. I can honestly say I gave it my best shot. I got as far as being able to run for 4 minute blocks, but I thought I was going to have a heart attack when I got home. Now I’m trying 1 minute running, 1 minute walking and it’s working out much better. I have to face the fact that I’m never going to be able to run 3 miles in 30 minutes-that was my goal. I can run/walk it in about 40 and that’s just going to have to do!

Right…I’m off to get that magpie!   😀

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Adventures Part 23: Been There, Done That, Got the Wristband!

August 4, 2010 at 7:49 pm (camping, Dilators, festivals, health, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

I recently added going to a music festival and camping to my to-do list and now I can happily say that they’re done! Now, when I say happily, I mean the music and the festival was great……the camping, not so! If I never go camping again, I don’t think I’ll be too disappointed.  🙂

We arrived at the campsite just as it started raining. Wonder Boy did a great job putting up the tent (I did a great job watching him put up the tent!) but we got wet through. We just had the tent up when the rain went away – typical! Luckily it stayed away for the rest of the weekend and we could enjoy the festival. We got everything into the tent and made it nice and comfortable…..blow-up bed and cocoon sleeping bags and then went off to eat and listen to music.

Unfortunately, a few hours later, something I’d eaten did not want to stay in my body anymore and I spent about 5 hours running to the campsite’s portable WCs. It was NOT fun at all and I would not recommend getting food poisoning at a festival.  😦   I slept in all my clothes cos I was shivering so much and really cold. I got about 20 minutes here and there of sleep and I decided that one night camping was enough. We enjoyed the 2nd day of music and I drove home at 2am so that I could sleep in my own bed!!!! I’m a wuss I know, but at least I can say I tried it and it’s not for me!

On the dilator front, things are going well – I think! I was trying to use the 3rd one last week when I thought I had “broken” myself. Wonder Boy had to come upstairs to assure me that everything was fine and that I wasn’t bleeding to death! What had happened was that I was trying a new position, which felt really comfortable, so I pushed the dilator in a little more than previously. Then I heard a pop. There was no pain or anything like that, but I freaked out and froze! Since then I’ve tried it a couple of times, but I’m afraid to push it. The 2nd one is now totally easy to use. I can get the 3rd one in a certain amount and then I hit a wall and I’m afraid to push past it in case I do something bad/painful. I know that that part is probably a mental block, but until I feel comfortable doing it, I don’t think I’ll be able to push it. So, in terms of making progress, I think I can say YES, I’m making some.   🙂

Now, just a little update on the totally frivolous resolution I had of wearing a designer dress for the big day. I’ve found one that would be perfect….well…it looks perfect. I haven’t actually tried it on yet. It looks perfect! It’s a DKNY little black dress. It has a plain black top and a black and grey patterned skirt. I’m going to try it on on Friday afternoon with my Mum, who thinks it’s the perfect dress. She told me yesterday she wants to buy it for me as my present! I really hope it suits!

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Part 21: It’s the Final Countdown…..(na na na na, na na na na na, na na na na, na na na na na na na na…….!!!)

July 19, 2010 at 8:01 pm (baby steps, cholesterol, diets, Dilators, Exercise, health, jogging, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, running, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

Only 8 weeks to go to my birthday! Yikes! I can’t believe it. The year has gone so fast. It only feels like a couple of weeks since I started this blog to keep a record of things.

So anyway, here are some updates:

Go to Italy: Last time I updated I thought I’d be going, but it looks as if I’m not going to be able to make it to my friend’s wedding in September. Some things have come up and I’m going to have a party on that day instead. Also, one of my other friends there is pregnant and due at the end of December, so I’ll probably take a trip next year anyway!

Get fit and healthy: I just had another informative chat with my doctor today (well, actually this time it was!) and I found out I’m a bit anaemic, which explains a lot. On the major plus side, I’ve managed to lower my cholesterol level by 1.2!!!!! He was really surprised! My running programme is also going well. I surprised myself today by being able to run for 6 minutes. Wonder Boy has pointed out that soon I’m going to have to get a bigger loop to run. The aim is to be able to run for 30 minutes by my birthday.

Have sex: I had my 1st pain-free experience with the 2nd dilator yesterday. I was so happy! I’m also still using the 3rd one as well, but I haven’t gone any further than half-way with it. I did psyche myself up to make an appointment with the gyn though and it’s in 5 weeks time.

And….I’ve decided to retrospectively add another resolution. I just knew 9 was too odd a number to have! So, Resolution Number 10: go camping at a music festival! I’ve never been camping and we bought out tent on Saturday, probably one of the wettest days of the year so far. The festival is in 2 weeks time and I just hope it stays dry.   🙂

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Part 20: Baby Steps

July 12, 2010 at 6:26 pm (baby steps, cholesterol, Dilators, health, jogging, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, running, sexual dysfunction, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus) (, , )

If learning to walk was this difficult, I’m glad I don’t remember it! However I’ve finally managed to make some progress with the 3rd dilator. I’ve got it nearly half way in 3 times. I’ve been doing some special breathing exercises while doing it and they seem to be helping. I WILL make another appointment for the gyn soon, but I need to psyche myself up a little first!

Another baby step I’ve made is a decision to learn how to jog. I want to be able to jog for 30 minutes. I’ve started a simple training plan. To be honest, I could have started on week 3 because I already walk a lot, but I’m starting at the start! Wonder Boy came with me today and made me run more and walk faster than ever!

Watch this space .  🙂

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Part 17: A Little Blip!

June 26, 2010 at 1:06 pm (Dilators, Exercise, health, relationships, resolutions, sexual dysfunction, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Travel, Vaginismus) (, , , , , , , , , , , )

Was there a Sunday in last week??? I’m really not sure! I know there was a Saturday cos I did a lot! I went for a long walk, I did some housework, I sunbathed in the garden and then I went out. An ex-colleague was home for the weekend and we were celebrating her 30th. There was drinking, dancing and……… tequila  🙂   Then Wonder Boy came to rescue me, there was junk food and the next thing it was Sunday evening and I was eating pizza wrapped up in a blanket on the couch! It was a good night, but it’s the reason why I was the designated driver last night when we went to a concert!

So, I missed a day from my schedule – no worries! I had 3 positives with my resolutions this week.

Get fit and toned: To prepare for my total tone class I did exercise on Monday too, so my muscles wouldn’t suffer as much as last week. It worked – only a few aches on Wednesday, but I was able to run up and down the stairs! The weather continues to be nice, so I got a swim in the sea in too, which always helps stretch out muscles.

Visit Italy: Yes!!!!!!!! This one might actually happen!!! It won’t be before my birthday, but a friend of mine there is getting married 5 days after my birthday. That’s close enough, right???? I’m in two minds whether to go or not for a couple of reasons: it’s difficult to get to the location of the ceremony, I’d have to go on my own cos Wonder Boy can’t take any holidays at that time, I don’t know anybody going to the wedding besides the bride and her sister and my Italian is very rusty now seeing as it’s been 6 years since I was last there. Obviously it’d be fantastic to see her again and meet her now fiancé! And it would be a new part of Italy for me to visit. I think I might make the trip my birthday present to me  🙂

Have sex: I realise I need more help. I can go on forever on the 2nd dilator or do something about it. I’m going back to my doctor on Monday to see what the next step is. I also joined an online support group on Facebook moderated by the authors of the book we read, (the book that gave me the ass kicking I needed to do this), Private Pain: It’s About Life, Not Just Sex by Dr Ditza Katz and Dr Ross Lynn Tabisel. They run a therapy centre in NY www.womentc.com and have given me some very helpful information this week. Thanks!!!!

So, all in all, it’s been a good week. We’re making some travel plans YAY!!! But they’re still at the baby stages, so I’m saying nothing for the moment!

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Adventures Part 16: And Action

June 15, 2010 at 8:50 pm (Dilators, EFL, health, relationships, resolutions, Things to do before you're 30, Travel, Vaginismus)

It hurts to type! Why? I’ve decided that it’s time to take control of what I can and one thing is getting fit. I’ve just come back from my 1st total tone class and, honestly, it hurts to type! I’m going to feel this tomorrow. I’ve no idea how I’m going to get up and down stairs!!! I’m sticking it out though cos I can feel that it’ll be worth it. I’m going to add a pilates class too when they start and Wonder Boy and I made a pact that we’re going to do more “doing” when it comes to body- boarding and less “watching”! The forecast for the weekend is good, so I think we’ll be off to the beach.

Wonder Boy is now a marathon runner – woohoo  🙂  He’s got the bug now and is planning a half marathon in our home town the day before my birthday and another full one in October. I’d really like it if he started doing them in nice places like Paris, New York, Rio, Sydney…………. Then I’d happily travel and support him! We had a lovely break away after it for a few days. It was so nice to relax on white, powdery sand and look out at turquoise water – the beach really is where I’m happiest.

I went back to work yesterday and which was also officially 12 weeks until the BIG DAY and my brain is going a million miles an hour thinking of stuff. I think it’s going to explode!

The dilators are really driving me mad. I’m getting nowhere, so I really have to go back to the doctor and see what’s going on down there! The 2nd one still hurts soooo much. The second I get the tip in, I want to take it out and it takes all my will power to leave it in for 5 minutes. I do it every single day, but it’s not getting easier, not like the 1st one did. I need some external help with it.

I’m also really concentrating on my career and travelling. I reckon another academic year in this school is as much as I can take. I’m planning to start something creative in September, but we all know creativity doesn’t pay the bills, so while I’m doing some courses at night, I’m going to have to stay teaching and get funny stories from my students to keep me going! I’m also thinking of going back to study a Masters the academic year after that, but what to study is the question. I’m a really bad student! I couldn’t wait to get out of college 9 years ago. I’m not very motivated (hence the problems I’m having getting through these resolutions   🙂 )  and I really need someone over me telling me what to do. I’m not really a Masters candidate. However, I do feel that if I was to progress career wise, I need something extra. I’ve been thinking about doing an MA in linguistics for a few years now, so maybe that will be my choice. We’ll wait and see! It would be a massive financial and time commitment and who knows if it would be beneficial or not. And then when can we travel??? And where???? And what would we do with our house???? Rent???? Sell????

These are the questions that go around and around my head at 5am when the sun wakes me up! No wonder I’m half asleep in the classroom!! Now, I’m off to try and tackle those stairs!!! 🙂

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Adventures Part 14: Black Cats Crossing Your Path……That’s Good Luck, Right???

June 2, 2010 at 7:19 pm (Changing jobs, cholesterol, diets, Dilators, EFL, Exercise, health, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, Summer, Teaching, TEFL, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus)

I see it’s been 3 months since I last gave updates on all my resolutions. There hasn’t really been a lot of progress on them, but seeing as it’s a little over 12 weeks to the big day, I need to kick myself into action on some points! So, this review is for my benefit!  😉

So here we go……..

1: Save some money.

Nothing major on this one – 100 here and there, but that’s it. We’ve a mortgage review in August though, so that should see the savings start!

 2: See new places

It’s been done. 🙂

3: Find a new job

Well….I have to do new things at work for the summer, so it’s kind of a new job within my job! I’ll be training high school teachers from all over Europe as well as training people to be TEFL teachers. I’ve done that bit before, but I’m going to be inspected on it by the Dept. of Ed. This time, which means a lot more work (a.k.a. stress!) Thankfully, it also means a little more money. That links in nicely to resolution number 1 too, so I have to be happy with that! I’ve also been looking into volunteering in September and I have a plan to get started on something more creative too involving writing and photography. Watch this space!

4: Get fit and healthy

According to the scales I’m down 7lbs. I don’t see it myself, but the scales don’t lie, right?!?!!? Wonder Boy’s marathon is in 5 days and that combined with the sunny weather has made me get more active in the evenings. I need a little extra though, so I’m going to check out some classes between now and September.

5: Have sex!

I’m still using the 2nd dilator, but I think I’m going to have to go back to the doctor for help with them. She only works on Mondays though, so getting an appointment before September might be difficult. I’ll have to think of a new title for the blog. How does Adventures of a 30 year old Virgin sound?!?!?!?!

6: Go back to Italy

Probably not going to happen, but it can happen next year!

7: Make travel plans

We’re going to have to wait until September to have more information about this. It’s cutting it close, but it might be ticked off in time!

8: Get a tattoo

This will probably be next year too.

9: Wear a designer dress on my birthday

This one speaks for itself and obviously won’t be ticked off for another 3 months!

That’s how it stands at the moment. As I was out walking today a black cat crossed my path, so I’m taking it as a sign of good luck that things will work out well!  🙂

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Adventures Part 13: Summer??!!???

May 22, 2010 at 8:58 am (Dilators, Exercise, growing vegetables and herbs, health, Humor, Making the most of your time, relationships, resolutions, Summer, Things to do before you're 30, Vaginismus, Vegetables) (, , , , , , , , , , )

I’m afraid to write it in case it disappears again, but I think it might be summer 🙂   I’ve spent the morning in the garden for the first time this year. I had breakfast outside, the washing drying in the sun and I had to water the vegetables, which are growing like mad! We’ll soon have our own veggies for dinner!!! Yummy! They’re playing summer songs on the radio and I’m planning a looonnnggg walk for later on. Wonder Boy is off running in preparation for the marathon, which is coming up in a couple of weeks. I’ll have to get my pom-poms ready to cheer him over the finish line!

What’s all this positivity you might ask???? Aren’t I usually quite depressing????? The answer might be yes, but this week things are good. My star chart seems to be working. Ticking things off one-by-one and knowing that I’ll have a reward at the end seems to be working. I haven’t noticed any improvement with the dilators, but I have used them everyday for the last 9 days (I’m back to the 2nd one again). I’m just focusing on using it everyday and then, hopefully, one day it’ll be easy.

And the treat I’m looking forward to today??? Well, Wonder Boy’s nephews are coming to stay tonight and we’re going to get pizza and watch football! They might even persuade me to go zip-wiring in the park tomorrow if it’s still sunny. They find it very funny to watch me cling on for dear life while they push me across!

So, I’m ending this entry feeling positive  🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 

Oh, and if anyone has any advice on how to recover coriander or how to grow pepper plants, your comments are very welcome!

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